signals

This is about fucking women’s rights.

“But if you happen to be a man, sometime in the future, and you’ve made it this far, please remember: you will never be subject to the temptation or feeling you must forgive, a man, as a woman. It’s difficult to resist, believe me. But remember that forgiveness too is a power. To beg for it is a power, and to withhold or bestow it is a power, perhaps the greatest. Maybe none of this is about control. Maybe it really isn’t about who can own whom, who can do what to whom and get away with it, even as far as death. Maybe it isn’t about who can sit and who has to kneel or stand or lie down, legs spread open. Maybe it’s about who can do what to whom and be forgiven for it. Never tell me it amounts to the same thing” - Margaret Atwood

Something I’ve thought about for a while is this quote from The Handmaid’s Tale. It is true that men never will know the feeling or temptation to forgive a man as women do. Our society has ingrained it into women making forgiveness less of a choice and more of an expectation. And why is that? Who decides that women need to subjugate themselves to men? Why is it that we, as a society, perpetuate gender roles in such a way when it stands to benefit only men? Not challenging the status quo is to be complicit in it’s effects.

Beyond that, the quote suggests forgiveness is a form of power:

• the power to beg for forgiveness
• the power to grant forgiveness
• and the power to withhold forgiveness

In this way forgiveness isn’t just a simple moral act or emotional release, it can be a form of power itself. And yet, these are distinct from power shown in physical control and the true power of being able to act with impunity. Women are treated as objects. Wives, in some countries/cultures, can be legally raped which highlights being able to act with impunity. Imagine being in a marriage where someone would not respect your consent instead of using their fucking hand. The sad thing is that Atwood’s book was written decades ago, but these are still problems of power, control, and acting with impunity intersecting with women’s rights. And even worse any progress that has been made for women’s rights is just regressing.

I, for one, reject the patriarchy.