emergency

I think about complacency a lot to the point I question how healthy it is for my mental state. Take for instance this morning I saw a game I want on sale, but I immediately ask myself when would I have time to play that. I don’t afford myself time to pay games. I’m just trying to exist.

It would be nice to be able to just exist without the threat of losing it all. The truth is I am, along with 99% of the rest of society, much closer to being homeless than being wealthy. But that doesn’t mean I stop trying. That I become complacent. Instead I have just been fighting for my life. It’s been the better part of 2 decades since I was kicked out and have been on my own. I don’t think I’d be anywhere near where I am today if I just resigned myself and accepted my situation.

Friends ask me how I can work so hard. The truth is, for most of my life I haven’t had the choice. I had to work hard.

Complacency is a luxury.

That was a luxury I didn’t have. I had no time to be complacent and accept my position in society. Fuck that.

But I do question where I would be now if I just resigned myself and took things easier. If I were more complacent with my position in society. If I just accepted the inherent risks of standing still.

But, it also isn’t about my position in society. I also don’t want to accept our current society as a whole. And if I am complacent then I am accepting our society. Even worse, accepting our society means being complicit in our society’s crimes.

In this way, complacency is complicity.

So, I must persist. Fighting for my life against complacency.